The image of the 91 year old
arse buttocks is seared on my brain!
I was trotting along, pursuing important business, wag wag sniff sniff, when I saw a sight so unusual I had to pause to register its wondrousness.
My 91 year old neighbour was mooning me! She stepped out of her garage, flipped up her skirt like a can-can girl, showed us her
arse bum and squatted for a pee!
I started pulling like a rottweiler, but Maman seemed to have acquired the force of a sled team of huskies. Sacrebleu! She dragged me on as if the most magnificent event to occur all year was not unfolding before our snouts. Luckily it was only a number 1, or I don’t think I could have contained myself. A number 2 or, glory of glories, a 1.5, and I would have had to let rip a woowoowoowoo.
But I was cruelly yanked onward, and am still wearing my sulky pants in protest.
I have to commend this right-thinking marvel, part of a dying generation for whom the world is their toilet. They need no porcelain doodads. Like all doggies, they know that squatting is best.
Luckily there are still plenty of French men to perpetuate the proud French tradition of getting their things out in public. You may have your gadgets and your existential angst, your eradication of body hair and your endless nonsensical blathering (Twiggy, Twiggy, Twiggy, Twiggle-monster, Twiggly doo-doos, whatcha doin’ Twiggy, oi, don’t do that Twiggy, drop the goldfinch Twiggy!!), but we doggies know the score. We’re all animals. Everybody poops.* But we have the honesty to do it as nature intended.
And it makes great sniffables!
Who would’ve thought a bit of poop would be the great equaliser?
* Maman is making me clarify that Madame did NOT poop.
But I live in hope…